Episode 027 Limiting Beliefs
Whew this past few weeks have been crazy! I have had auditions each day, Valentine's Day, teaching yoga, and trying to spend time with my husband before he left for Jesus Christ Superstar.
Everyday I was up early, getting ready, out all day, and teaching at night. Again, again, and again.
I am grateful for my life, and I don't think I can handle a schedule like that on the everyday.
In the 3rd installment of the Healthy Mindset Series we are going to talk about limiting beliefs, or as I like to call it..."The Spiral"
Limiting beliefs are statements that our minds believe are true. We believe them as true when in fact they are not.
Limiting beliefs are lies we tell ourselves to block us from possibility or abundance.
Limiting beliefs usually sound something like:
- I'm not smart enough to do this
- I can't ask for a raise
- He/She is so much better than me
- They were just lucky
- Money is the root of all evil
These loop of thoughts allow our brain to process these statements as fact and create a lasting imprint on our spirit. It's from these limiting beliefs that we block joy, possibility, inspiration, the ability to level up, and even love.
Take a moment and scan through your thoughts and see how many limiting beliefs are ringing true for you.
Even just one limiting belief can be stunting your progress.
Where do we learn these limiting beliefs?
Unfortunately everyone. Limiting beliefs could have started growing as early as childhood.
- Every have a parent compare you to a sibling
- A grade school teacher tell you weren't good at something
Those small instances, especially when they come from someone of authority create long lasting negative imprints on you. As a child you believed that what your parents and teachers said and did was word. So if your english teacher said your weren't a good reader, you probably began to not enjoy reading or even showing up to english class. You just internalized not being a good reader and focused your time elsewhere.
Let me share a personal story. For a long time in my life I had a problem with my weight. I wasn't a thin child; in fact I was quite tall and athletic from about the age of 5. I remember my mother losing her shit when the ticket attendant at Cedar Point (Only the best thrill coaster park in the world. If you haven't been yet...GO) told her I was too tall for a child's ticket. I was 5. This was the first time I realized that I was tall for my age.
In high school I was an avid volleyball player and played all year round; so being tall was a good thing and helped my weight stay in check. Mind you I was working out for 2-3 hours a day 5x a week and was just keeping my head above water.
I began telling myself I was always going to be someone who would always struggle with weight. I think it was that internalized thought that made me really unsuccessful at weight loss.
In college I was very overweight because I stopped playing volleyball and continued eating poorly. I would diet unsuccessfully and would use the excuse "I'll always have trouble with my weight" as a get out diet jail card. I used that limiting belief to get me out of really dodging in and committing to my health. I blocked myself from the possibility of success by believing that weight would always be a problem.
It wasn't until I let this belief go (after tons of thought based work and meditation) that I even began to see any lasting result.
We hear criticism and feedback all the time as creatives and that won't ever change. The damaging thing about it is when you internalize that feedback to mean there is something negative or wrong with you. That's how limiting beliefs take root.
Now as adults we can add to the pool of limiting beliefs by comparing and devaluing ourselves to other people.
Take the world of social media, I would say specifically Instagram, since it's picture oriented. How many times have you looked at some skinny or ripped fitness person and then said something damaging about yourself?
Or maybe you checked a celebrity's profile only to envy their entire wardrobe
Or heard the person in front of you audition and kill it then tell yourself that you will never measure up.
We do this to ourselves. We continue to add to these un-truths and it diminishes our capacity to thrive.
I know what you are thinking: "Kendra! How do we go through our world and social media without comparing ourselves and adding more limiting beliefs?"
You need to create space. Create several steps between you and the person you are comparing yourself to. When we compare ourselves to someone we put them on a pedestal and lower ourselves in the ground. Make that person your equal and put them away from you laterally. Know as an actual though that they have taken very specific steps to get where they are.
Let's go back to the example of auditioning. You have someone kilt and you automatically lower yourself down. You devalue your talent and assume they booked the gig, are perfect, and never worked hard a day in their life. You create a story that they woke up like this and that you are struggling to keep the voice you have. When you say these things to yourself, you automatically feel diminished.
Don't believe me? Tell yourself something awful and see how your emotions respond. Now say something positive. Notice the difference?
Now if you leveled the playing field and realized that everyone has something to offer, then even though the person in the room is killing it doesn't mean what you have to offer is any less valuable. Their actions and training have led them to this exact spot and so have yours.
If you both took the same steps with the same intensity, everything would be equal and you both would be successful. Your talents would mirror one another.
See the amazing thing about success, abundance, riches, or whatever you want to call it is that it's available to everyone. Everyone has the capacity to succeed. It's my belief that the reason we see so much varying degrees of success is because of the amount of limiting beliefs they have.
Just imagine a world where you have no limiting beliefs, where no thoughts or un-truths are holding you back. What could and would your life look like? The possibilities are endless!
So how do you get there?
- Write down all of your limiting beliefs
- Go through the list and debunk each one
- Begin with 3 mantras
- I love you for _______________
- You are amazing at ___________
- I forgive you for ______________
- Say these mantras like it's your full time job! Say them until they are you new truths
It's a slow process, but a rewarding one that will free you from the boundaries you have inflicted upon yourself.
Believe in yourself they way a puppy believes in you. If they can believe in you that much then you can believe in you too.
More auditions are on the horizon so before you step into the room say your three mantras and begin to create abundance everyday!