Episode 025 Complaining
Episode 025 Complaining
Alright family we are switching gears from Ayurveda and talking about healthy mindset. This is part one of the healthy mindset series. In this 3 part series my hope is to get you to shift out of our regular mid to low level vibrational thinking and into a much higher vibe.
This week's experience is about complaining. Complaining could probably be my least favorite experience and borderline a pet peeve.
Now I am not talking about having an actual issue that needs to be taken care of. No. I'm talking about complaining for the sake of complaining. Complaining from a place of entitlement. Complaining and not finding satisfaction anywhere.
Let me give you an example of both:
Scenario 1- You're out at a restaurant and you ordered a bowl of soup. The soup comes to the table and looks amazing. The waiter asks if you need anything else, you say no and they leave. You taste the soup and realize that it's cold. You say to your friend that you can't eat the cold soup, you're annoyed cus your hungry. You call the waiter over, explain the situation, get new soup and continue enjoying your meal.
Scenario 2- Same situation; out at a restaurant. You look at the menu and say "uh this food is expensive." They ask if you want to switch places, you say no and go ahead and order. The food comes to the table and looks great (according to your friend). You take a bite and complain about how the food is nothing special. That you have had better at many other restaurants and it wasn't as expensive. You don't send the food bak or say anything to the waiter. So now both you and your friend suffer through the entire meal.
The first story is based in solutions; something was wrong, you spoke up, got it fixed, and moved on.
The second story was based in misery. The person here wasn't going to be happy with anything. I bet even if they would have went to a different restaurant they still would have been miserable. They just wanted to complain to complain.
Have you ever been around someone when they were in the thick of their complaining fit? It's a really draining experience. Complaining is a low level emotion that limits your capacity for joy. when you constantly allow yourself to complain you miss the opportunity to experience gratitude, fun, laugh, or simply be in the moment.
Complaining keeps you stuck in the past!
Let me give you a real example:
When I was on the Hair tour last year we often had long bus rides from city to city. Sometimes 6-8 hours before doing a show. Now this schedule was fixed before we arrived so there was literally nothing any of us could do about it. We would get off the bus for breaks and some people would complain about the long bus ride and how miserable they were. They spent their break in complaints, instead of enjoying the break, being in the moment. They could only focus on the long bus ride.
Now I consider myself to be a pretty positive person and am able to deal with a lot. But even I found myself being dragged down. There were times that I would get the bus and refer to it as my "death trap". Ha! Wow! Talk about drama!!
That's another gross thing about complaining...it's contagious! Complaining is a two way conversation, whoever is doing the complaining needs an audience of at least one to get their point across. They use their low level feelings and thrust them onto you and now you are complaining right along with them. It takes tremendous amount of strength to not get pulled into a complainfest.
Now if you are listening to this podcast in real time you now that as NYC performers we are about to go into the busy audition season. Wouldn't it be nice to begin leave your complaining ways behind and start this season fresh, in the moment, and full of opportunity? I know that is what I am committing to this season and here's how to go about it.
Become aware of how much you complain
- The experience of hair made me much more aware of how destructive my complaining was to me and everyone around me
- Be really honest with yourself and see what triggers your complaining. Know what makes you feel uncomfortable, or upset is key to managing your complaining.
Count your complaints
- I mean it! I want you to go through an entire day and see how many empty complaints you are making. If you are in a job you hate, or get stuck on the train, I can bet you are gonna rack up some complaints quickly
Differentiate between empty complaints and complaints that can have a solution
- Action or solution is the difference in your negativity while complaining. If you can find a solution, take action!
Make a promise to yourself to let go of the things you can't control.
- This has been one of the biggest and most successful mindset changes for me. My 2012 NYE resolution was to no longer let things I can't control bother me. I said it and I meant it. Being in that mindset has widened my emotional capacity. I was no longer wasting my energy getting upset while waiting in a long line, sitting in traffic, or annoyed that another fire truck is whizzing by while I am on the phone. I finally felt free from complaining and didn't feel triggered by every single stimulus.
- This single action will eliminate the majority of the complaints you have.
Switch from complaining session to venting sessions
- Now I don't want you to think you can't share what you are going through. But let people know what's about to happen. In my last tour I literally said to one of my tour besties. Can I please vent, I need to get something off of my chest. Then I said what I need to say, they have me some advice and then we moved on.
Look I know complaining, I use to complain all of the time. I complained about my weight and then did nothing about it. I complained I wasn't booking enough work but wasn't actively going to auditions. I complained that I needed to make more money, but only wanted to keep part time hours.
I complained over and over and whoever got roped into listening I'm sorry.
Here's what I know: Complaining is a low level vibrational experience that blocks you from experiencing joy.
We chose this profession so that we can create, so that we can use our talents to bring joy, tell a story, and educate communities. When you are in the experience of complaining you block yourself of your highest creativity. Your open, clear mindset is directly tied to your creativity, showmanship, and integrity as an artist.
Life is hard, the human experience is unpredictable and is always throwing you for a loop. My wish for you is to find the capacity to enjoy the good, manage the bad, and let go of what you can not change. Complaining will not allow you to experience any of those things.
Find the time to mindfully eliminate complaining from your daily activities, and I can be not only will you experience more joy, but I also bet you will be able to level up your creativity and success!
Let that shit go!